Sometimes saying sorry is just not enough!!!

A cheeky, pampered, dramatic girl that she had been for the first twenty years of her life came crashing down sometime back. She could scam, flirt, make a big deal out of everything and be a bitch to almost every guy she met. When the situation turn worst she could manage to squeeze out few fake tears and gain as much sympathy as she could to force people to love her and when everything failed, she would build a tower out of lies like a motherfucker. For her a consequence was a narrow concept that was nothing more than a chart kids make in high school.

And like they say, Karma, almost slapped her face, turning it red and blue. The guy she was best friends with, the guy she had fallen for, the guy she had almost given up half of her shit dumped her (for all the aforementioned reasons) . The excuses about her imperfect childhood, the excuses about how they had been together for 3 years and how she would die if he leaves her, those real tears and that genuine fear, nothing was working. When he broke up with her she was obviously devastated. Just like, ‘pick up a knife and chop off your own head’ devastated. He called her a bitch. He called her true feelings bullshit. She had to face the real consequences now. There was no fixing here, it was a fairy tale nor was it a bollywood movie.

She was a problem solver. She had always been a fixer, she always found solutions for almost everything, and here she was stuck, stuck with the reality. She felt like a fool, when she tried reasoning out with herself, saying he will come back one day, this will pass or he is going to miss her. There was no coming back happening here. He had gone, tired of her shit, he had lost more than she had.

She fucked up something beautiful by being a psychotic bitch, with her irrational and dramatic ideas, mixing her true genuine love with her insecurities and she was now trying to fix the unfixable.

So I guess it’s like this: sometimes in life, you will do horrible, shitty things that make you want to cringe and slap yourself over the head.  Then you will feel so awful that you will want to take action to try and “fix” them.  But you can’t.  Because sometimes, the things we do are too awful to fix and saying sorry is just not enough.  And you’ve got to put down the phone or get off Facebook and just let it be.  And sit with the horrible, shitty thing you did and know that even sorries come with consequences.